The Complications of Gender-Bending
by pingo1387
Summary: Not long after a fateful fall into a cursed spring, Zoro ends up running into a certain blond chef. What new feelings will arise from this odd twist of fate? SanZo; Half Fem!Zoro, half not.
1. In Which Zoro Falls into a Spring

**I'm very nervous about this story . . .**

**Although this is marked as a One Piece/Ranma 1/2 crossover, the only part related to Ranma 1/2 physically appears in this chapter and is fully explained, so I don't think it's necessary to have read or watched Ranma 1/2 to read this story.**

**Also, a warning for those who chose not to read the information in the description: This is a ZoSan (or SanZo, not sure) story. If you do not like that pairing, then do not read this story.**

**This takes place pre-timeskip, when the crew has 9 members.**

* * *

It was their final day on the island, and Zoro had managed to get lost once again.

"How am I supposed to find my way around in a goddamn _forest_?" he muttered to himself, pushing aside low-hanging branches and ducking under spider webs. "Don't even know how I got here . . . just following the coast, looking for the ship, and suddenly—forest. What is _wrong_ with this island?"

He spotted daylight up ahead and sighed. "That better be the town."

Pushing forward, he found himself not in the town, but in a large area filled with many small, separate pools of water and a tiny hut near the edge of the woods. Many of the pools had long bamboo sticks standing upright in the middle of them.

There was a _creak_ and Zoro looked over at the hut to see a short, bald, and chubby man come out and approach him.

"And who are you?" Zoro asked.

"Hello, sir," the man said. "Welcome to Jusenkyō, Cursed Springs Training Ground! I am tour guide for grounds. This is surprise, sir; not many people come here these days."

"Training ground, huh?" Zoro muttered, looking up at the bamboo rods. He took off his _haramaki_, shirt, and swords, set them on the ground, and leapt up to the top of one of the rods, balancing on it in the yoga tree pose.

"Sir!" called the guide, alarmed. "Sir, what you doing!? You must come down, sir!"

Zoro ignored him, focusing on keeping his balance. Unfortunately for him, a bee—possibly mistaking him for a plant by his green hair—began buzzing around his head and near his ears. Zoro began swatting at it, trying to ward it off, but this only made him lose his balance. He swayed on the pole and pitched forward into the pool below with a great _SPLASH_.

When Zoro came out of the pool, he coughed and looked down in confusion before shrieking in a high-pitched voice. On his chest were two large and unfamiliar lumps. His waist was narrower than before, his pants were too large now, and when he reached up to feel his head, he found that his face shape had become heart-shaped instead of square-jawed and that his hair was slightly longer and sleeker.

"What the HELL is THIS!?"

The guide sighed. "Sir, please come with me to hut."

Zoro growled and climbed out of the pool, snatching up the previously discarded items and following the guide.

* * *

Zoro sat at a small table in the guide's hut while the man boiled some water.

"Will you _explain_ already!?" the former man snapped.

The guide glanced at the kettle before speaking. "You see, sir, every spring at Jusenkyō has tragic story. The one you fall in is 'Spring of Drowned Girl'. Many years ago, young girl fell into spring and drown. Now, everyone who fall into spring take shape of girl. There also 'Spring of Drowned Pig'—very tragic story of pig who fall in and drown many years ago—and 'Spring of Drowned Octopus', which has very tragic story of octopus that fall in and drown many years ago."

"Wonderful," Zoro snapped. "Now how about changing back?"

"Excuse me, sir," the guide said, turning to the whistling kettle. He turned off the heat, picked up the kettle with a cloth, walked over to Zoro, and poured the boiling water over the former man.

Zoro leapt up and grabbed his head in pain. "That _hurt_, you bastard!" he yelled. "What do you think you're—!?"

He stopped when he noticed that his voice was deep once more. Looking down, he saw that his chest was smooth once again, his pants fit, and—noticing the texture beneath his fingers—his hair was short and his jaw square once more.

"Oh," he said.

"It simple, sir," the guide said. "You change back with warm or hot water."

"Great," Zoro said, pulling on his shirt, _haramaki_, and swords again. "I'll get going."

"Wait, sir," the guide said. "There is one more thing." He picked up a bucket and filled it with cold water from the sink, tossing it on Zoro.

"You change into girl with cold water," he said.

Zoro growled, looking down at himself to find that he was female again.

The guide picked up the kettle and poured more hot water on Zoro, changing him back to a man.

"I'm getting out of this shit-fest," he growled, storming out of the hut.

This time, pushing back into the forest, he found his way to the town (purely by accident, of course) and bumped into Luffy and Usopp.

"Hi, Zoro!" Luffy said cheerfully. "Where were you?"

"Why are you wet?" Usopp asked, frowning.

"You wouldn't _believe_ what I found," Zoro muttered.

"What?" Luffy asked eagerly. "Did you find meat?"

Zoro was about to tell them, but stopped himself. If word ever got out that he now transformed into a girl with cold water . . . well, that would naturally be the end of his manly pride. Not that there was anything wrong with being a girl . . . it just wasn't _manly_, that was all.

Not to mention the teasing he would have to endure from the idiots on his crew . . .

"Uh . . ." he mumbled. "I just . . . saw a cool spider web."

"Oh, is that all?" Usopp asked. "How'd you get wet, then?"

". . . Fell into some water," Zoro muttered.

Luffy laughed. "Oh yeah, Nami says we're going soon. C'mon, let's get back to the ship!"

Zoro followed his crewmates back to the harbor, thinking _This won't be so hard. I just have to avoid cold water. Luffy, Chopper, Robin, and Brook manage it most of the time, so it shouldn't be difficult, right?_

* * *

**From this point on - Zoro, when in female form, will be referred to with feminine pronouns and the female name he eventually chooses.**

**Petition to make "spiderweb" and "shitfest" legit words**


	2. In Which Sanji Is Delusional

"Hey, Nami," Luffy called as the group docked at the next island. "How much longer until we get to Fishman Island?"

"I already told you," Nami said, annoyed. "Do you _ever _pay attention? We have only one or two more islands after this one, and then we should be close enough to the Red Line to get there."

Luffy cheered.

"I'm looking forward to seeing the mermaids," Brook said happily. "Sanji-_san_, what about you?"

Sanji grinned. "Of course, Brook! I have to see at least _one_ mermaid before I die."

"You already saw a mermaid," Chopper pointed out. "Remember at Enies Lobby?"

Sanji ignored him.

Zoro leapt off of the ship, being careful not to land in the cold water. "I'm going to walk around," he called back. "I'll be back for lunch."

"Don't get lost!" Nami yelled after him as he strolled away. "Oh, who am I kidding," she muttered as he turned a corner. "He couldn't find his way out of a shoebox."

"I think I'll go walk around too," Sanji said, jumping off like Zoro had. "I'd like to check out the cuisine in this place."

"Adventure!" Luffy yelled, jumping from the ship and running off somewhere. Chopper and Usopp clambered down the ladder and followed him.

"I can stay and guard the treasure, Nami-_chan_," Robin offered.

"Thanks," Nami said, relieved. "I'm gonna go shopping—I'll let you know if I see anything you might find interesting." She climbed down the ladder with Franky following, saying that he was going to look for scrap metal. Brook decided to stay on the ship with Robin.

* * *

Zoro ambled down the street, glancing around at the shops. He didn't find anything of interest and it was only five minutes later that he found himself facing a dead-end in an alleyway.

"Who put this brick wall here?" he muttered, looking up at it. "Oh well."

As he turned, he felt a few cold drops on his arm. Just as he realized that it was starting to rain, the sky opened up and it started pouring.

"Shit," muttered Zoro, but stopped. The swear word had come out awfully high-pitched . . .

She looked down and saw that she had transformed into a woman once more. Her clothes were getting soaked.

"Crap, I forgot about rain!" she exclaimed. "God damn it!"

She ran out of the alley and took shelter underneath an overhang, behind a building. Taking off her swords and setting them aside, she pulled off her shirt and started to wring it out.

"Stupid weather, screwing with me," she growled to herself. "Can't let the others see me . . . I guess I gotta shelter here until it lets up, then ask someone for hot water. I hope no one comes back here."

Just as she finished muttering this, she heard someone's voice coming closer, saying "Damn, I'm soaked. I can probably duck under here . . ."

Sanji, dripping wet, came around the corner and ducked underneath the overhang, starting to pat his hair dry with his hands.

"That's better," he sighed as he turned and saw Zoro staring at him. His eyes became hearts and he threw out his arms, crying "Oh, my! I come here seeking shelter and I find a beautiful young lady waiting for me instead! You must be an angel, taking cover from the rain!"

Zoro stared at him, realizing that he didn't recognize her. Surreptitiously moving her swords out of sight, she snapped "I'm no angel, you idiot, and I wasn't waiting for you. Now get out of my face or—"

She realized that he was staring at her chest with a perverted grin and looked down. She shrieked and pulled her shirt back on, yelling "You _goddamn pervert_!"

To herself, she thought _Did I really just shriek?_

"Now, now, don't be shy!" Sanji exclaimed. "My darling, what name have the heavens above bestowed you with?"

"I-I'm—um—" she thought fast. "—Zelda."

Sanji smiled. "What a _beautiful _name! It means 'battle', doesn't it?"

Zoro—Zelda—shrugged. "I don't know and I don't care. Listen, curly-brow, don't you have better things to do than harass women?"

If Zoro had called Sanji this when both were men, they would have dissolved into fighting. However, this time, Sanji simply ignored the insult and smiled goofily. "Oh, my dear Zelda-_chan_, I'm simply sheltering from this downpour! You seem to want to stay here, so why don't we keep each other company until the sun comes out?"

Zelda inched away from him. "I'd rather take my chances in the rain than stay here with a shitty cook like _you_."

Sanji looked surprised. "You knew I was a cook?"

Zelda mentally smacked herself. "I've . . . heard of you. Black Leg Sanji, isn't that right?"

Sanji grinned, looking very pleased with himself. "Indeed I am, Zelda-_chan_! But don't be frightened, I would _never_ hurt a beautiful young lady such as you!"

Zelda made gagging sounds. "Ugh, I feel like _vomiting_ when you say those things. Honestly, it's disturbing to hear them aimed at me."

"Oh, it isn't nausea you're feeling," Sanji said, seizing Zelda's hands in his own. "It's _love_."

Zelda felt her face grow hot and yanked her hands out of his. "I just might call the Marines next time you do that," she threatened.

"I know you wouldn't," Sanji said with a smile.

"Hey," Zelda said, getting an idea. "If you're on the Strawhat crew . . ."

"Yes?"

"Then you _must_ know the famous Roronoa Zoro!"

Sanji seemed to deflate. "I . . . sort of know him, yes . . ."

Zelda smirked. "Oh, he's my _favorite_ member of the Strawhat crew! Everyone says he's so brave, and handsome, and strong! And his _bounty_ is so high too! 120,000,000 beris, isn't that right? That's the second-highest on the crew!"

With every statement, Sanji deflated a little more. "B-But Zelda-_chan_," he whimpered, "n-no matter what people might say, I can promise you that I am _much_ braver than that damn swordsman!"

"I don't think so," Zelda said, still smirking. "You're definitely not as _handsome_, at least."

Sanji put his head down.

Noticing that the sound of raindrops had stopped, Zelda glanced up and realized that the downpour had ceased and the sun was coming out. She looked at Sanji and, seeing that his head was still down, grabbed her swords and made a break for it. By the time Sanji looked up, ready to advocate for his manliness once more, she was gone.

Zelda found a shop and peeked in. Once she had confirmed that none of the crew was in there, she sneaked inside and asked the manager for a pot of hot water. To her surprise, he agreed almost immediately and disappeared in the back room, returning with the pot. She thanked him and found a bathroom where she could change back. As she prepared to pour the hot water, she realized that she had been expecting to be asked to pay for the water.

_Is it because I'm a girl now?_

Oh well, she thought, and poured the hot water over herself. Zoro confirmed that he was male again before strolling out, thrusting the pot at the manager with another muttered "Thanks", and strode out the door.

* * *

Everyone was at the ship for lunch and Zoro noticed that everyone seemed to be some degree of soaked.

"So," he said casually, "looks like the rain got all of us, huh?"

Nami sighed. "It almost ruined my outfit!"

"Thankfully, I went inside before it got heavy," Robin said, who was the driest of them all.

Luffy pointed at Zoro and laughed. "You're _really_ wet, Zoro!"

"Shut up," Zoro said half-heartedly as Sanji served up lunch.

"I don't know about all of you, but I managed to take shelter with a _beautiful_ lady!" Sanji said proudly.

Zoro started wolfing down his quiche.

"Oh?" Nami said in a bored voice.

Sanji nodded happily. "She was simply _wonderful_! She had a _great_ body, and short green hair, and a bit of a temper . . . but so sweet at the same time! And she wasn't afraid to show a little more than most women!"

"So . . ." Usopp said. "In other words, a female version of Zoro?"

Both Zoro and Sanji choked on their drinks.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you!?" Sanji yelled angrily at Usopp. "Don't even _think_ of comparing that lovely flower to this thick muscle-head!"

"Muscle-head!?" Zoro yelled at Sanji. "Who're you calling muscle-head, shitty cook!?"

They proceeded to fight.


	3. In Which Two More Meet Zelda

**Happy Mothers' Day, everyone!**

* * *

The day after Zoro/Zelda and Sanji's encounter, Zoro went into town again after checking with Nami about the weather. Once he learned that it wasn't supposed to rain, he walked down the streets with more confidence, despite the fact that he had decided to leave his swords on the ship.

As he rounded a corner and into a back alley, a sudden downpour of cold water splashed upon him. Zelda looked up and saw someone holding an empty bucket, presumably having just emptied it.

"The hell's your problem!?" she yelled at the guy. "Look before you throw water somewhere!"

"Sorry, ma'am!" called the man, withdrawing into his house and shutting the window. Zelda glowered up at the window and sighed, looking down at herself.

"Okay," she muttered. "I'll have to be careful . . . can't let anyone see me . . ." she paused and tugged at her shirt. "Come to think of it, those guys might recognize the clothes . . ."

Reaching into her loose sash, she counted her money and found that she had 500 beris. She peeked around the corner into the street and found that none of her crew was there, so she hurried into a clothing store and went to the manager.

"Do you have any hot water?" she asked abruptly.

"I'm sorry, miss, we don't," said the manager.

"Great," she sighed. "Okay, I've got 500 beris. What can I get?"

The manager stepped out from behind the counter and led her to a rack of clothing. "We don't have many outfits that cheap," he explained. "But this discount rack might be to your liking—"

"Look, I _really_ don't care what it looks like," she snapped. "As long as it's different from what I have on right now."

The manager promptly pulled out a black shorts and a hot pink T-shirt with a flower pattern.

Zelda hit him. "Not THAT!"

Eventually she found something she liked: a light blue tank top and ratty blue jeans. The outfit ended up costing her 400 beris and she strode out of the store wearing it, carrying her other clothes in a bag.

Of course, there was a certain blond man just outside of the store. Zelda spotted him and tried to hide, but he saw her and cried out.

"Oh, my beautiful flower!" Sanji exclaimed with hearts in his eyes. "That outfit looks _stunning_!"

Zelda glared at him. "Seriously, is this what you do whenever you go into town?"

"I did my shopping yesterday," Sanji said, still fawning over her. "You look so _cute_!"

Zelda coughed. "Funny, most people don't call me _cute_."

"Those people obviously have a strange idea of what 'cute' means," Sanji said, admiring her from every angle.

"_You're_ the one who has the strange idea!" Zelda snapped. She stalked down the street, but Sanji trailed after her.

"Will you leave me alone!?" she snapped, turning around and glaring at him.

"Forgive me, darling, but your beauty is so striking, it would go against my instincts _not_ to follow you!"

Zelda groaned. "You're an idiot."

"I may be a fool, but I'm a fool in love~!"

"Wait," Zelda muttered, looking around. She spotted the Sunny nearby and realized that she had wandered too close to the docks.

"I need to get out of here," she said quickly, turning and running away. Hopefully no one had seen her.

She ended up in a dead-end alley and sat down on a trashcan lid with relief. It was then that she noticed Sanji standing in front of her.

"Go away," she snapped.

Instead of leaving, Sanji sat across from her. "Your temper is so fiery, like the sun on a summer's day!"

She seethed silently. Normally he would be saying something insulting, but these compliments were just disgustingly nice. It was almost too much to bear . . . and why did her face keep feeling hot!?

"Hi, Sanji!"

Sanji and Zelda looked up to see Luffy and Usopp standing at the entrance to the alley. Zelda froze.

"Who's that?" Luffy continued, pointing to Zelda.

She let out a sigh of relief when she realized that neither Luffy nor Usopp realized who she was. "I'm Zelda," she muttered.

Usopp squinted at her. "See, I wasn't wrong, she _is_ like a female version of Zoro."

"How dare you!" Sanji yelled.

"Are you Zoro's sister?" Luffy asked innocently.

"Never met the guy," Zelda lied promptly.

"Leave my Zelda-_chan_ alone!" Sanji exclaimed.

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Zelda snapped, standing up and glaring at Sanji. "I belong to _no one_, least of all _you_!"

"Of course not, darling, I didn't mean it like that—"

Zelda made a break for it; she leapt up and scrambled over the brick wall, jumping down on the other side and darting into the nearest store.

_Stupid love-cook, with his stupid compliments and stupid blond hair and stupid handsome face—_

_What._

She shook her head to clear it; she'd never noticed those things about Sanji before, so it was probably some stupid female imagination hormone, making her imagine strange things. Heading into the men's room, she grabbed a bucket, filled it with hot water from the sink, and dumped it on herself. Zoro then changed out of the outfit and back into his regular clothes, after which he tied up the bag with the outfit in it and strolled out of the store innocently.

"Oh, it's you," Sanji said as Zoro walked out; the cook had just been about to go in. "I hate to ask, but did you see a lovely young lady go by? She had beautiful green hair . . ."

Zoro glowered. He figured he must have been imagining things at all, because what he had briefly considered attractive was now barely noticeable.

"I didn't see no one," he muttered. "Why don't you go in and look for yourself?"

Sanji ran into the store; Zoro sighed and tried to find his way back to the ship.

* * *

Later that evening, everyone was at the Sunny for dinner.

"My beautiful flower Zelda-_chan_ got away again," Sanji sighed sadly.

"She obviously doesn't like you," Usopp said. "The second she had a chance, she jumped over a wall and ran away."

The others laughed.

"Wait, you met her?" Chopper asked.

Usopp nodded. "Me and Luffy did. And I was totally right, she's female Zoro. They could be siblings."

"Will you quit talking about that?" Zoro snapped. "How'd you like it if I compared you to a chick with a long nose and black hair?"

"I dunno," Usopp said thoughtfully.

"Nami-_swan_, Robin-_chwan_," Sanji cried, "your dinner, my lovelies! For you, Nami-_swan_, whose tangerine hair shines brighter than the sun itself; and for you, Robin-_chwan_, whose sea-green eyes could drown the most hardened sailor!"

"Thank you, Sanji-_kun_," Nami said in a bored voice.

"Thank you, Sanji," Robin said calmly.

Zoro couldn't help but notice that Sanji was actually good at giving compliments—at least, to girls.

"So, what, you only got nice things to say about ladies?" Zoro asked casually.

"Of course," Sanji declared. "My heart belongs to women!"


	4. In Which Zelda Accepts an Invitation

"Why?" Zelda muttered to herself, marching down the street. "Why does this happen _every goddamn day?_"

A walk in the woods and a fall into a creek had resulted in this, after which Zelda had—by complete chance, of course—found the town again and was in search of hot water.

"Zelda-_chan_!"

. . . And _not _a certain blond cook . . .

She stopped and turned on her heel to see Sanji standing behind her, smiling goofily. She also couldn't help but notice that the things she had found attractive before were resurfacing in her mind. _Goddammit_.

"What do you _want_?" she snapped. "Didn't I ask you about ten times to leave me alone?"

"It seems that fate has other plans for us, my dear," Sanji said happily, not trying to hide the fact that he was admiring her body. "We keep running into each other!"

"Only because you keep looking for me!"

"Not at all!" Sanji protested. "I certainly had you on my mind, darling, but it was by pure coincidence we met today!"

Zelda rolled her eyes and looked away from the cook in an attempt to quell the strange feeling she was having. "Get out of here already."

"Say, Zelda-_chan_," Sanji said, ignoring the order, "what would you say if I invited you to have dinner with my crew and me?"

Zelda froze.

"They wouldn't hurt you," Sanji hurried on. "No matter what you might think from the papers . . . but I'd be careful around Roronoa Zoro."

Zelda's eye twitched slightly at this. She was about to refuse when she thought of something.

Sanji hadn't recognized her at all. Luffy had no clue about her connection with 'Zoro', and despite the fact that Usopp continually commented that she was like female Zoro, he hadn't figured it out either. Was there a chance that the rest of the crew wouldn't notice after all?

"I . . . sure," she muttered, still not looking at him.

"Oh, Zelda-_chan_!" Sanji cried happily.

"Wait—this _isn't_ a date, got it?"

"Of course, of course! It wouldn't be much of one, anyway, with my crew hanging about . . ."

Sanji at last went away, spinning as he walked. "I'll let everyone know you're coming for dinner!"

Zelda sighed and rubbed at her temples. It was _not_ a good day.

* * *

It was a full hour before Zelda managed to find a clothing store where hopefully she'd be able to get hot water. As she entered, she spotted Nami and Robin by the shirts. She tried to duck beneath a rack of shorts, but Nami saw her.

"Robin," she heard Nami say, "I think I just saw Zoro duck behind that rack."

A moment later, two arms sprouted out on either side of Zelda and lifted her up. She squirmed and Robin released her, allowing the hands to vanish.

"Ah," Nami said. "Never mind, it's not Zoro. Sorry!"

Zelda grumbled and went over to them. "Hi," she muttered. "You two are—er—Nico Robin and Cat Burglar Nami, right?"

Nami looked shocked. "Oh crap, you're not a bounty hunter, are you?"

Zelda rolled her eyes. "I've gone after bounties before, but I quit a while ago."

"You must be Zelda-_san_," Robin said with a smile. "Our cook, Sanji, has been talking about you for the past two days."

"Has he now," Zelda muttered.

Nami narrowed her eyes and looked closely at Zelda. "Usopp's right," she said at last. "You could be Zoro's sister."

"Everyone keeps saying stuff like that," Zelda commented.

"Indeed," Robin said, agreeing with Nami.

Zelda breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that neither Nami nor Robin seemed to recognize her for who she really was.

"So I heard from Sanji-_kun_ that you're having dinner with us tonight," Nami said.

"Did you?" Zelda muttered.

"Indeed," Robin said. "He seemed quite pleased, yet determined to demonstrate that he still loves us."

"Not like he _needed _to," Nami added, rolling her eyes. "I could care less if you and he got together, Zelda."

"Right," Zelda said. "I guess I'm looking forward to meeting your crew."

Nami smirked. "The men are morons, just so you know. Especially Luffy and Zoro."

Zelda's eye twitched again. "O_kay_," she said tensely. "That's nice. I can deal with morons."

"Are you from around here, Zelda-_san_?" Robin inquired.

"Er . . . well, I'm from the East Blue," Zelda muttered.

"Really?" Nami said. "So am I! What island?"

"Oh, I left so long ago, I don't remember the name," she lied. "Anyway, I'm staying on this island now."

"How nice," Robin said with a smile. "How long have you lived here?"

"A while," Zelda said evasively. "Er, I should get going . . ."

She turned and quickly strode out of the clothing store. After quite a while more, she found a place with hot water and turned back into a man. Zoro changed his clothes, storing the girl ones inside his _haramaki_, and started to make his way back to the Sunny.

Once at the ship, he got to the men's room and hid the clothes inside his locker, after which he went to the kitchen.

"Hey, cook," he said. Sanji looked up from his recipe book. "I'm not gonna be here for dinner."

"Why?" Sanji asked.

"Training," Zoro said evasively. "Not sure when I'll be back."

"Your loss," Sanji muttered, looking down at the book. "But maybe it's for the best. We have a _beautiful_ young lady coming for dinner, and I wouldn't want her to be scared away by your face."

Zoro ignored the insult with great difficulty and strode out in a dignified manner.

* * *

**"Zelda" has dinner with everyone next chapter :D**


	5. In Which Everyone Meets Zelda

"Hey," Zoro said, poking his head into the kitchen, where Sanji was starting dinner. "Heading out now. I'll be back later, don't wait up."

"The thought never even crossed my mind," Sanji replied. "Don't get lost."

Zoro scowled and left, jumping off the ship and immediately turning the corner around a shop into a deserted alley. There, he stripped to his boxers and hid the clothes behind a trash can. He picked up the water-filled bucket he'd stashed there earlier and dumped it on himself—the first time that he had deliberately changed to his female form. Zelda set down the bucket and put on the feminine clothes she'd hidden earlier, as well as a pair of slightly long blue socks she'd stolen from Usopp in order to hide the scars on her ankles.

Fully dressed and female, Zelda left the alley and went back to the Sunny. She lingered on the grassy area next to it, noting that it was an odd feeling waiting to be invited onboard her own ship.

She hadn't been waiting long before Nami looked over the side of the ship and saw her. "Oh, Zelda!" She said. "Wait there for a minute while I get the ladder . . ."

She disappeared and returned with the rope ladder, tossing it over the side. Zelda grabbed the rungs and swiftly climbed, jumping onto the deck with ease. "Nice ship," she commented, looking around and pretending to be interested.

"Oh, Zoro's sister is here!" Luffy said, poking his head around a corner. "Hi!"

Zelda scowled. "I told you, I'm not his sister! My name is _Zelda_."

Usopp looked around the corner as well. "Hi, female Zoro!"

"Cut it out!" Zelda snapped. "My name is Zelda! _Zel_-da!"

Chopper looked around the corner, his head below Luffy's and Usopp's. "Hi!" he exclaimed. "Wow, Usopp, you're right! She's like a girl Zoro!"

Zelda clenched her teeth in frustration.

"Leave her alone!" Nami snapped to the three. They came around the corner and approached her and Zelda.

"Hey, Zoro!" Luffy yelled across the ship. "Quit sleeping and meet your sister!"

No response. Zelda looked away.

"Where is he?" Usopp asked with a frown.

"He said something about training," Nami said with a shrug. "Sanji-_kun_ said that he said he wouldn't be back until after dinner."

"Training?" Usopp asked, confused. "That's weird . . . he's out training, but I saw his swords in his locker."

"Aren't there other kinds of training to do without swords?" Zelda asked quickly. "Wait, why were you looking in your friend's locker!?"

Usopp shrugged. "Actually, my favorite pair of socks is missing, and I was wondering if they had ended up in Zoro's locker somehow."

He glanced down as he was speaking, as one might usually do when talking about an article of clothing which goes on the feet, and spotted Zelda's legs. He narrowed his eyes; Zelda realized what he was looking at.

"Aren't . . . _those_ my socks?" Usopp asked.

The others looked at Zelda's feet.

"Of course not," Zelda said. "I bought these a long time ago."

"They sure _look_ like my socks," Usopp muttered, but decided to let it go; after all, why would a girl that he had just met go to the trouble of stealing his socks?

Luffy laughed. "Zoro's sister with Usopp's socks!"

"Leave her _alone_!" Nami repeated. "Don't mind these three, Zelda."

"Nah, it's fine," Zelda muttered.

"Yow! Havin' a party, are we?"

Franky strolled up from below deck, lifting his sunglasses and eyeing Zelda. "What have we here?" he asked. "Bro Zoro, when did you get that sweet rack?"

"My _name_," Zelda said, speaking slowly, "is _Zelda_."

"Just joking!" Franky said, laughing. "Nice to meet you, sis!" he held out a large hand, which Zelda shook; her hand disappeared inside his.

"Oh, Zelda-_san_," Robin said, approaching the group. "I'm glad you could make it. Sanji is in quite the anticipatory mood."

"Is he?" Zelda asked in a bored voice.

Chopper nodded. "He keeps talking about dear Zelda-_chan_!" he mimed Sanji in a love-struck swoon and the others laughed.

The door to the men's room opened and Brook came out, stretching his arms. He spotted the group and went over, saying "Oh my, oh my, who is this now? Could this possibly be the famous Zelda-_san_?"

"Er, yeah," Zelda said. "Nice to meet you." She shook the bony hand he offered.

"If it's not too much trouble, Zelda-_san_," Brook said, "would you allow me to take a peek at your panties?"

"I'm not _wearing_ panties, you idiot!" she snapped.

Blood started leaking out of Brook's nose. Nami, Franky, and Usopp seemed shocked, Robin smiled, and Luffy and Chopper seemed confused.

"Oh, for—that's not what I meant," Zelda said. "Forget it."

Brook chuckled. "To be honest, Zelda-_san_, I don't think I'll be able to forget that anytime soon!"

She punched him in the ribs.

"Dinner!" Sanji yelled, poking his head out of the kitchen. He grinned when he saw Zelda and said "Oh, Zelda-_chan_, I'm so glad you could come!"

Zelda rolled her eyes and followed the others into the kitchen, where she sat and waited for her food.

"Here you are, ladies," Sanji said happily, serving up three plates of steaming _katsudon_ in front of Nami, Robin, and Zelda. "_Bon appétit!_"

"Thank you, Sanji-_kun_," Nami said cheerfully.

"Thank you," Robin said.

"Thanks," Zelda muttered.

Luffy looked longingly at the three bowls. He stretched his arm across the table, trying to snatch a piece of meat from Zelda's bowl. She stabbed his hand with her fork and he snapped it back, rubbing the marks.

"Leave that alone!" Sanji snapped to Luffy. "Zelda-_chan_ is a lady and our guest!"

"But I'm hungry," Luffy whined.

"You'll get yours in a second," Sanji growled. He served up the rest of the food, making sure that Luffy got his last as a mild punishment.

Everyone dug in ravenously. Compliments came from everyone, and though Zelda found it absolutely delicious, all Sanji got from her was "It's pretty good, I guess."

"Thank you, Zelda-_chan_!" Sanji cried with hearts in his eyes.

"So are you actually Bro Zoro's sis, or what?" Franky asked Zelda at one point.

"I'm _not_ his sister, no," Zelda snapped.

"It's just really coincidental, is all," Usopp said. "I mean, you sure look a lot like him."

"Too bad Zoro couldn't be here," Nami remarked. "I wonder how he'd react to this."

"Knowing Zoro-_san_, he would probably brush it off within a few seconds," Brook said with a chuckle.

"Zelda-_chan_, do you live on this island?" Sanji asked.

"I'm staying here," Zelda said evasively.

"You said that earlier," Robin noted. "Tell me, are you . . . travelling around?"

"In a way," Zelda said carefully. "I got to this island pretty recently . . . I've been here for a few days . . ."

"Huh?" Nami said, frowning. "Didn't you say earlier that you'd been here for a while?"

"I _meant_ a few days," Zelda said quickly. She started wolfing down her food in order to avoid any more questions.

Soon everyone had finished their dinner. Sanji cleared away the dishes; as he threw them into the sink, Zelda stood and said "Thanks for dinner. I should get going, so see you later."

"Wait, Zelda-_chan_!" Sanji exclaimed. He stopped her before she could leave and held out his hand with a smile. "Allow me to walk you home; it's getting dark."

"I can protect myself," she snapped.

"I insist!" Sanji exclaimed. He took her by the hand and led her out the door. She looked back at the crew in the kitchen and mouthed 'Help me!' No one came to her aid.

* * *

"Where do you live, Zelda-_chan _dear?" Sanji asked as they walked along the twilit road.

"Around," Zelda said vaguely. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Nothing could be better than this!" Sanji exclaimed happily.

Soon, Zelda and he ended up in a dead-end alleyway.

"I guess it was the other way," Zelda said.

"Please, let me help," Sanji offered. "What does your place of residence look like?"

"Um . . ." Zelda thought fast. "It's . . . a house . . ."

"Uh-huh?"

"And . . . it's blue . . . with a rocking chair on the porch," she invented wildly.

"Leave it to me, Zelda-_chan_!" Sanji exclaimed.

Zelda thought that she had led him on a wild-goose chase, but to her surprise Sanji quickly found a house that matched her description perfectly. "This must be it," he said, turning to her.

"Sure," she said. "Why not?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Okay, I'm here, go away."

Sanji pulled her back and turned her around. "My dear Zelda-_chan_, would you allow me a goodnight kiss?"

He pursed his lips slightly and leaned forward. Zelda stiffened, felt a funny fluttering in her stomach, felt her face grow hot, and pushed him away.

He seemed confused. "Zelda-_chan_?"

"I said go away!" she yelled, realizing that her face was probably red.

"I'm sorry!" Sanji exclaimed, looking alarmed. "Did I go too quickly for you?"

"_Get out of here_!" she yelled, punching his shoulder and noting that her physical strength was much less than what it was when she was male.

Sanji apologized profusely and slowly went on his way like a kicked puppy. Zelda watched him go, breathing hard, realizing that maybe she had _wanted_ him to kiss her, maybe wanted to kiss _him_ back—

No, she told herself firmly, it was just some stupid hallucination. She waited until Sanji was out of sight before knocking on the door of the blue house. She found it empty—presumably the owners were on vacation—and so filled a bucket with hot water from the sink, dumping it on herself.

Zoro went back to the alley where his clothes were stashed and swiftly changed into them, stuffing the girl ones—and Usopp's socks—inside his _haramaki_. He then rounded the corner and strolled back to the ship, where he jumped onboard. The others were milling around the ship.

"I'm back," he announced.

"Hi, Zoro!" Luffy said cheerfully. "Hey, your sister was here!"

"She's not my sister," Zoro snapped. Noting the cook's absence, he asked "Where'd Sanji go?"

"Sanji-_kun_ came back looking depressed," was Nami's indifferent reply. "Apparently he tried to kiss Zelda but she didn't want him to. I think he's in the men's room."

"Ah," Zoro said in understanding. "Well, I'm tired. I think I'll turn in early."

He entered the men's room to find Sanji face-down on his bed. After quietly taking off his _haramaki_ with the clothes inside and folding it up inside his locker, he went over to Sanji and tapped his head.

"You okay there?" he asked.

Sanji turned over on his side and stared at Zoro. "Since when do you care?"

"I said, are you okay?" Zoro repeated.

Sanji sighed. "You haven't met her yet, but the lovely lady Zelda-_chan_ doesn't seem to like me . . ."

Zoro sat on the edge of his bed. "I heard you tried to kiss her," he said. "You tried to kiss a girl when she didn't want to be kissed?"

Sanji moaned into his pillow. "It's all my fault . . . she hates me now . . ."

"Oh, man up," Zoro said, rolling his eyes. "Try talking to her tomorrow, I'll bet she'll have forgiven you."

"You think so?" Sanji asked hopefully.

Zoro shrugged. "Doesn't hurt to try. G'night." He kicked off his boots and lay down.

It took him a minute to realize that he had just given Sanji advice on how to deal with his female form, Zelda.

"Fuck," he muttered, closing his eyes.

* * *

**Have you guys ever seen the anime The Devil Is a Part-Timer? It's pretty funny. There's a joke where the two main characters don't know how to pronounce the Japanese dish _katsudon_, so they keep saying "katsu doon".**


	6. In Which Sanji Is Pushy

After breakfast the following morning, Sanji determinedly announced that he was going to find Zelda and ask her to forgive him.

"What's the big deal about her?" Usopp asked. "There are so many girls out there, y'know."

"There's something _special_ about her!" Sanji protested. "She's different! Ah—Nami-_swan_, Robin-_chwan_, you two are special too—!"

"Yeah, yeah," Nami said. "You and Zelda can be together all you like. I don't care."

Sanji looked at Robin, who shrugged as if to agree with Nami. He breathed a sigh of relief and left the kitchen to find Zelda.

Zoro watched him go then stood and made to leave.

"Where are you off to, Zoro?" Robin asked.

"I have to go tell a certain _someone_ that he needs to go _piss off_ so that it will take a load off my back," Zoro said. "And if that _certain someone _doesn't do it I _might_ have to _hurt him_." He left the kitchen.

"I don't think that could've been any vaguer," Franky muttered.

"Is someone annoying Zoro?" Luffy asked, frowning.

"He said he was gonna take care of it, so maybe it's okay?" Chopper asked nervously.

"I hope he doesn't hurt this person too badly," Brook said thoughtfully, sipping his milk.

* * *

Zoro went back to the alley he had gone to the previous night. It had rained sometime last night, so the bucket which was stashed there was filled with cold water. He stripped to his boxers, splashed the cold water on himself, and changed into the clothes that had been stashed in the _haramaki_.

Zelda finished pulling on Usopp's socks and stepped out of the alley to find Sanji.

He spotted her before she spotted him—as evidenced by the fact that she suddenly heard his voice behind her, saying "Zelda-_chan_?"

She whipped around and saw the blond cook looking at her hopefully.

"Zelda-_chan_!" he cried, seizing her hands and bringing them up to chest level. "Oh, my darling, I'm so _sorry_ about last night! Forgive me, love!"

Zelda narrowed her eyes. "Listen, you, I've got something to tell you. I want you to leave me alo—"

"Zelda-_chan_, do you forgive me? Please forgive me!"

"I said I want you to le—"

"Oh, Zelda-_chan_, I don't think I could bear it if you didn't bestow me with your forgiveness!"

"Fine, I forgive you, now as I was saying—"

"Thanks to the heavens above! Zelda-_chan_, you are the sweetest girl I have ever met!"

"Where the hell did you get that idea!? Listen, curly-cue, go away and—"

"But I feel like I have to make it up to you!"

"You don't need to make up anything, just get out of—"

"How does lunch sound, darling? I'll make us sandwiches and we'll have a picnic in the field!"

"I'm not—"

"What do you say, Zelda-_chan_? It will be just the two of us, and I swear upon my honor as a man that I won't do anything you don't want me to!"

"For god's sake, stop—"

"Oh, it will be _wonderful_! We'll sit in the grass and watch the birds go by and the crickets chirp!"

"I'm trying to tell you to leave me al—"

"Is that a yes? Do I hear a yes!?"

"Okay, fine! We'll have a fucking picnic! Now get out of h—"

"Zelda-_chan_, I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear that! How does noon sound? Noon's good, isn't it? We'll meet in the field at noon, then! I'll bring the blanket and the food!"

He finally let go of her hands (at which point Zelda realized that she hadn't tried to take them away) and ran in the direction of the ship. Zelda watched him go, irritated.

"I hate him," she muttered, "_so_ much."

She started to follow the path that Sanji had taken in order to get back to the alley where her other clothes were hidden; on the way, she bumped into Nami and Robin.

"Oh, Zelda-_san_," Robin said with a smile. "Did you succeed in getting Sanji to leave you alone?"

"Somehow, _no_," Zelda snapped. "Instead we're going on a picnic."

"I thought you didn't like him," Nami said with a smirk. "And now you two are going on a picnic together?"

Zelda threw her hands up in the air. "I don't know! He just—I just—ugh!"

"If you two have a date," Nami said, eyeing Zelda's outfit, "then we've got to get you something else to wear."

"What's wrong with this?" Zelda asked with a scowl.

"For two lovers on a romantic outing, it's hardly appropriate," Robin agreed.

"Lovers!?"

"It's pretty obvious that you don't _hate_ him," Nami said. "Anyway, what do you think about a skirt?"

"These clothes are fine," Zelda said firmly. "And I _refuse_ to wear a skirt or a dress."

"What about tights and a pair of shorts?" Robin suggested.

"Oh, good idea! And a T-shirt on top!"

"What?" Zelda snapped. "I told you, this outfit is fine. Besides, I can't afford to buy anything right now!"

"Well, that's no problem," Nami said. "I'll pay for everything."

Zelda stared at her.

"What?"

"I don't want to be in debt to you," she said. "Ever."

Nami grinned. "Hey, I don't charge friends! This one's on the house, sister!"

_Then what's 'Zoro' to you?_ "Are you two going to physically drag me into a clothing store if I refuse?"

They nodded. Zelda turned around and ran, only to be stopped by a hand sprouting out of the ground and seizing her leg. She stumbled and fell flat on her face; when she looked up, Nami and Robin were standing over her.

"Shall we make good on our threat, Nami-_chan_?" Robin suggested.

Nami nodded; the two lifted Zelda by her arms and started dragging her into the nearest clothing store.

* * *

**So we get to see Zelda's outfit AND the date next chapter! Fun times!**


	7. In Which Zoro-Zelda Deals with Feelings

**I'm _so _sorry for the lateness of this chapter, both in weeks and hours. But it's longer than usual and I think has some pretty good stuff, so I hope it was worth the wait.**

**Also, uh, the chapter title should have had "Zoro/Zelda" but for some reason a slash isn't allowed in the chapter thing so yeah.**

* * *

After much arguing and protesting, the three women came to an agreement: Zelda would wear whatever Nami and Robin picked out, as long as it didn't involve a skirt, dress, tights, jewelry, or anything that showed her torso.

"Jewelry?" Nami asked in surprise. "But you're wearing earrings." She pointed to the three golden things dangling from Zelda's left ear. "Come to think of it, those are _exactly_ like Zoro's earrings . . ."

"Ah—right, about that—" Zelda said nervously, touching the earrings.

"You're a fan of our crewmate Roronoa Zoro, isn't that right?" Robin said. "I'll bet you wear those earrings to imitate him."

"Right!" Zelda said, latching onto that. "I just think he's _so cool_, and I love the way he wears those earrings of his . . ."

"Ah, that explains it," Nami said, smiling.

* * *

Soon Nami and Robin had chosen an outfit for Zelda, shoved it at her, and insisted that she try it on in the changing room. While changing clothes, Zelda came to realize for the first time—later wondering why she hadn't noticed earlier—that her package was gone. She had to stop herself from yelling out in shock and frustration. She also came to the conclusion that having a chest of that size would definitely get in the way if she ever had to fight in that form.

"Zelda?" Nami knocked on the stall door as Zelda pulled the T-shirt over her head. "Are you almost done?"

"Yeah, just a second," Zelda said, adjusting the sleeves. Looking herself up and down in the mirror, she had to admit that the outfit didn't look bad.

"Oh, that's _great_!" Nami exclaimed as Zelda opened the door. She was wearing a dark green T-shirt with sleeves that ended just above the elbow; blue denim shorts were on her legs; and the socks she had stolen from Usopp were worn underneath a pair of black tennis shoes.

"You look lovely, Zelda-_san_," Robin said with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess it's okay," Zelda muttered.

Eventually Nami and Robin paid for the outfit at the register. "There you go," Nami said cheerfully. "Now you're ready for your date!"

"It is _not_ a date," Zelda snapped. "We're just having lunch together by ourselves outside."

She thought for a moment.

"It's _still_ not a date, okay?"

"Of course not," Robin said. "Do you need directions to the field? I passed by it yesterday; shall I lead you there?"

"I can find it on my own, thanks," Zelda snapped. She strode out the door; Nami made to follow her, but Robin held out a hand.

"Just wait a moment," she said.

A minute later Zelda came back into the store and stopped, confusedly looking around.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want help?" Robin said innocently.

* * *

"Here we are," Nami said. "Really, it's practically next-door to the clothing shop; I don't see how you could have missed it."

"Shut _up_," Zelda snapped. "And, uh . . . thanks, I guess."

"Have fun," Nami said, waving cheerfully. She and Robin went back to the town, leaving Zelda in the field alone.

Zelda sighed in annoyance and started walking out in the field, looking around for Sanji. She glanced up at the sun and saw that it wasn't quite noon yet—maybe another hour or two to go until. She decided to take a nap in the meantime, so she lay on the grass with her hands behind her head and fell asleep in no time.

She was awoken some time later by a gentle shaking of her shoulder. Sleepily opening her eyes, she was shocked to see Sanji's face hovering above hers. Her eyes flew open and she sat up suddenly, banging their heads together with a coconut-like sound.

"Ow!" she muttered. Glaring at Sanji and rubbing her forehead, she yelled, "What the hell do you think you're doing, you moron!?"

Sanji, sporting a fresh red mark on his forehead, reached towards Zelda's forehead, saying in alarm, "Zelda-_chan_, please forgive me! I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?"

"Keep your hands away from me," she snapped. "Idiot . . . if I weren't hungry, I would've left by now."

Sanji continued to apologize profusely; Zelda ignored him for a good two minutes before telling him to stop that damn apologizing already and it was okay. He seemed very relieved by this.

"Zelda-_chan_, a-are you ready to start?" he asked timidly, bringing forward the picnic basket and blanket. "I have the food—"

"I've _been_ ready. Just lay out the stuff."

Sanji spread the blanket and took out the food, arranging it on the covering. He had brought _camembert_ cheese, small slices of bread, a bottle of red wine, and _macarons_ for dessert. After carefully arranging it all out, he spread some of the cheese on a piece of bread and offered it to Zelda, who took it and popped it into her mouth.

"Not bad," she said after swallowing. "Did you make that cheese?"

"I did!" Sanji said proudly. "I've let it age for a few weeks, and I'm sure it tastes excellent!"

He looked at Zelda hopefully. "Yeah," she muttered, looking away. "It's okay."

"Thank you, Zelda-_chan_! Shall I pour us some wine?"

"I can pour my own wine," she snapped.

"I insist!" Sanji exclaimed. He pulled out two glasses, filled one about halfway with red wine, and offered it to her. She took it grumpily and sipped.

"Is that a new outfit?" Sanji asked as he poured his own wine.

"Uh—yeah," Zelda said. "Nami and Robin picked it out."

"Oh, my lovelies are so _kind_ and helpful," Sanji sighed to himself before returning his attention to Zelda. "Shall we drink to your beauty?" He offered, holding up his glass.

"No," Zelda said flatly, looking away.

"Then what _shall_ we drink to?"

"Geez, I dunno," she said. "I don't really care."

"Then we shall drink to you," Sanji declared. "Everything about you: Your loveliness, your forgiving heart, and your sweetness!"

He held up his glass, but Zelda kept hers down and glared at him.

"Zelda-_chan_?" he said. "Is something the matter, darling?"

"Why do you keep complimenting me like that?" she demanded. "You never did before!"

"I—what?" Sanji said.

"Nothing," she snapped. "I just . . . I don't get many compliments like that."

Sanji seemed very surprised. "Why on earth not? Any man who does not admire your beauty must be blind or a hard-headed fool! With your hair like the fresh spring grass, eyes like jewels, and the body of a _goddess_, you are the vision of perfect beauty!"

Zelda felt heat rising in her cheeks and glared at the cook.

"Oh, you're blushing," Sanji said teasingly. "Are you that shy, my dear Zelda-_chan_?"

"Shut your mouth," she hissed. "I ain't shy and I don't _care_ if you're handsome, those compliments will get you nowhere!"

"Handsome?" Sanji said in a surprised and pleased tone.

Zelda slapped a hand over her mouth and turned away.

"You _do_ like me!" Sanji exclaimed happily. "Oh, Zelda-_chan_, I knew we were made for each other!"

"I—I don't—" she mumbled behind her mouth. "Shut up."

"May I offer you another?" Sanji asked, sensing the tension and trying to pacify her. Zelda looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, lowered her hand, and snatched the bread from him, chasing it down by tossing the rest of her glass down her throat.

* * *

After finishing off the last _macaron_ (they were very sweet and light) Zelda was on her third glass of wine and Sanji was on his sixth. Thankfully her alcohol tolerance had stayed with the female body, so Zelda didn't feel tipsy one bit. On the other hand, Sanji was currently red in the face and swaying slightly.

"So, Zelda-_chwan_," he slurred, sipping more wine. "Didja like the food?"

"You're drunk," Zelda said.

"'m _not_ drunk," Sanji protested, looking at her with sleepy eyes. "'m just . . . 'ntoxicat'd by your beauty."

"No, you're _drunk_," Zelda said. She grabbed the wine bottle, corked it, and put it into the basket, along with the blanket and other supplies. After Sanji had finished off his glass, she grabbed that and put it in the basket as well. Sanji looked at her confusedly.

"We're going back to the ship," she said firmly. She stood and grabbed Sanji's arm, putting it around her shoulders and dragging him away with the picnic basket on her other arm.

"No . . . job f'r a lady . . ." Sanji slurred drunkenly as she dragged him down the street, attracting stares from passerby.

"Yeah, well, I'm no lady," she said. "Pull yourself together before dinner, at least—the crew can't have a drunken cook making food."

"Yeah," Sanji mumbled. "Can't be dr'nk wh'le makin' stuff, right?"

"We're almost there," Zelda said, spotting the Sunny up ahead. "Can you walk back by yourself?"

"'f course," Sanji said, looking up at her in a drunken stupor. "Zelda-_chwan_ . . . th'nks f'r comin' on th' picn'c . . ."

And before she could do anything, he leaned forward and kissed her, just outside her lips.

She felt herself suddenly flush and was sure that her face had turned bright red. She glared at Sanji and was about to yell at him when she realized that he had fallen asleep. Zelda settled for punching him in the gut.

"Hey! Zoro's sister!"

Zelda looked up to see Luffy and Usopp running towards her and Sanji. "Oh, you two," she said. "What do you guys want?"

"We saw you and Sanji from the ship," Usopp said, "and Sanji seemed weird. What happened?"

"He got himself _drunk_, that's what happened," Zelda snapped.

"Oh, you both got drunk," Usopp said in understanding. "That's why your face is red."

Zelda was about to protest, but she realized that that was a good excuse. "Yes!" she exclaimed. "That's why! But he's drunker than I am, so you might want to bring him back to the ship."

"Yeah, we should get Chopper to make sure he didn't over-drink or anything," Usopp said. "Luffy, you get his legs."

He and Luffy carried the unconscious Sanji back to the ship, Luffy calling over his shoulder, "Bye, Zoro's sister!"

Zelda watched them go until they had carried Sanji up the ladder and out of sight. She then went to the nearest house and asked as politely as she could for a bucket of hot water. Once the hot water had been poured, Zoro thanked the shocked man, handed him back the bucket, and went outside, slipping into the alley where his normal clothes were stashed. He pulled off the girl clothes and threw on his male ones, stashing the others inside his _haramaki_ as usual and praying that no one would notice the shoe-shaped lumps underneath the green band.

He turned to the harbor and jumped onboard the Sunny, where Nami and Robin were on the upper deck, reclining on lawn chairs.

"Where have _you_ been?" Nami asked, lifting her sunglasses to peer at Zoro. "I haven't seen you since this morning. Did you take care of that guy who was bugging you?"

"I've been out and around," Zoro said evasively, ignoring the last question. "I was in the town for a while. I'm surprised you didn't see me."

"Well, you missed lunch," Nami said indifferently. "Sanji-_kun_ left sandwiches for everyone because he went on a picnic with Zelda."

"I had lunch while I was out," Zoro said. "So it doesn't matter. I'm tired, I think I'll go take a nap."

He left the upper deck and went to the men's quarters, where he took out the hidden clothes and put them on the shelf in his locker, closing the door quietly. Instead of lying on his bunk to rest, he went to the infirmary, where Chopper was listening to the unconscious Sanji's heart.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," Chopper said distractedly. "Do you need something, Zoro?"

"Just wondering . . . if the cook's okay," he muttered awkwardly.

"He'll be fine," Chopper said after a moment. "He's just a bit intoxicated. I'll let him sleep in here for a while and he should be okay afterwards."

"Good," Zoro said. Without another word he left the room and went back to the men's quarters, where he lay down on his bunk and stared up.

_-What was all that about? That idiot, complimenting me so much . . ._

-But the compliments _are_ nice . . .

_-I guess they are, but he's never been that nice to me before . . ._

-Because he's never seen me like that before . . .

_-And what about finding him . . . attractive? What's up with that?_

-He _is_ good-looking, but it's just more noticeable when I'm female . . .

_-So I think he's nice and handsome . . . and that kiss—_

-A drunken display of affection . . .

_-And it was nice . . ._

-Did I want to kiss him back?

_-Maybe I should just sleep on it . . ._

And so Zoro let out a loud sigh and closed his eyes—but he wasn't able to sleep for a good while more.

* * *

**I've tried _camembert_ cheese before. I didn't care for it, but I tried _Roquefort_ cheese** **later (my French class was having a cheese-tasting day) and I loved it. I seriously recommend _Roquefort_, but be warned: It is _bleu_ cheese, which means that it is strong and pungent. **

**Also, a "_macaron_" is not a "macaroon". A macaroon is a coconut/almond weird cookie thing, and a _macaron_ is a French sandwich-like pastry thing (quite delicious). I haven't had any luck making them, unfortunately, but if you have some kind of French café near you, you might be able to buy some.**

**Oh yeah, and THEY KISSED! Or at least, Sanji kissed Zelda. But will Zelda return his affection or reject his love completely? Well, this is a Romance/Humor story . . .**


End file.
